So the Sqwrl went to a marriage retreat this past weekend. It became evident that marriage as a covenant rarely exists in society today. Why do people get married anyway? The Sqwrl has a friend who often asks what it will take to find an ideal mate?
Unfortunately there is no ideal answer. The variables are so enumerable and under constant change that how and when we find a person to share life with is almost infinitely impossible to achieve. The best we can do is take a chance with the hope that in 30 or 40 years we will have grown together in some idyllic manner.
The Sqwrl does know why marriages fail. They fail due to a number of different factors, actions and inactions.
#1. Marriages fail when there is no respect or love shared within the relationship. Some folks say that men need respect and women need love; that men and women are from different planets. But the Sqwrl believes that men and women are more alike than we prefer to believe. We all need love and respect.
#2. Growth. The Sqwrl is a believer in personal growth. It is such a fundamental aspect of any relationship, that when personal growth is absent the relationship will only wither or decay. A onesided relationship will never have balance and over time will only become more imbalanced. All of us have dreams. When we are children we dream of a world and of a life yet to be. When we are adults and have not fulfilled those dreams, we often find ourselves depressed wondering how we let our lives spin out of control.
#3. We are the product of our experiences.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
The Pious Nature of Spiders (work in progress)
I listened one day to a pastor talk about his sister's fascination with spiders. She kept them as pets while ministering in South America. He could not figure out why she kept them, spiders are, after all, hideous creatures. Aren't they.
Meanwhile I sat there listening, and suddenly came to a startling revelation. Spiders are a living metaphor for piousness and the human condition. Perhaps it is the arachnophile in me that derived this assessment, but it made sense to me in that moment. I have to admit I love watching spiders work. I could sit all evening watching a spider spin its web and gaze wondrously at the magnificience of nature's design. I love watching ants too, but you cannot see them at work. Spiders, however, work exposed to our critique.
Consider this. Every evening the orb spider will venture out to spin its web. Ususally it is the same spot every night. She works diligently as only she knows how to place the anchors and then cast each branch and connector. Once the web is spun, the spider waits patiently. Each insect is a gift. Wrapped tenderly to nourish it. Some nights there may be no food. But the spider does not complain. She will faithfully attend to making a new web the next night, and the following. This is the essence of ritual piety.
But spiders offer much more than this lesson in piety. Let us examine spiders and how they grow. In order to grow, spiders must shed their exoskeleton. When they do, they exist in a vulnerable state until their new shell hardens. Are we not like spiders when we grow? Not in the physical sense, but spiritually? Think of when we are hurt, or when we learn something new about life that does not meet our expectations? We are all vulnerable in our transitions. We may not admit it to others or ourselves, but in knowledge comes strength and eventually we will overcome the suffering or pain of life.
Spiders offer another glimpse into ourselves as it relates to compassion. Hideous to behold for some, many of us suffer from arachnophobia and are inclined to squash them when we see fit. But spiders are misunderstood. Their role in the cycle of life is as important as any other living creature. Just as each of us has some instrinsic value if we are to belive in the value of human life. It is when we understand spiders that we see their true beauty. Is this not an admiral lesson to learn? To see past our appearance and into our inner beauty?
Meanwhile I sat there listening, and suddenly came to a startling revelation. Spiders are a living metaphor for piousness and the human condition. Perhaps it is the arachnophile in me that derived this assessment, but it made sense to me in that moment. I have to admit I love watching spiders work. I could sit all evening watching a spider spin its web and gaze wondrously at the magnificience of nature's design. I love watching ants too, but you cannot see them at work. Spiders, however, work exposed to our critique.
Consider this. Every evening the orb spider will venture out to spin its web. Ususally it is the same spot every night. She works diligently as only she knows how to place the anchors and then cast each branch and connector. Once the web is spun, the spider waits patiently. Each insect is a gift. Wrapped tenderly to nourish it. Some nights there may be no food. But the spider does not complain. She will faithfully attend to making a new web the next night, and the following. This is the essence of ritual piety.
But spiders offer much more than this lesson in piety. Let us examine spiders and how they grow. In order to grow, spiders must shed their exoskeleton. When they do, they exist in a vulnerable state until their new shell hardens. Are we not like spiders when we grow? Not in the physical sense, but spiritually? Think of when we are hurt, or when we learn something new about life that does not meet our expectations? We are all vulnerable in our transitions. We may not admit it to others or ourselves, but in knowledge comes strength and eventually we will overcome the suffering or pain of life.
Spiders offer another glimpse into ourselves as it relates to compassion. Hideous to behold for some, many of us suffer from arachnophobia and are inclined to squash them when we see fit. But spiders are misunderstood. Their role in the cycle of life is as important as any other living creature. Just as each of us has some instrinsic value if we are to belive in the value of human life. It is when we understand spiders that we see their true beauty. Is this not an admiral lesson to learn? To see past our appearance and into our inner beauty?
Friday, January 8, 2010
Welcome to the Realm of the BlyndSqwrl!
Greetings, Blog traveler. Kind of you to visit. Welcome to the Realm of the BlyndSqwrl, a place for refugee thoughts, knight-errant ideas, and meandering perspectives of this universe in which we live.
I would like think of myself as storyteller of sorts, so a friend of mine recommended that I start a blog. He told me it would force me to write and even if nobody stops to visit, I can make a blog book of my own and fill my shelves with unfinished tales or books that will never be published. So with that in mind, I begin my journey. Since these are the musings of a blind squirrel, I may never stray too far from the tree unless something compels me, I may never know where this blog will take me, but I will be content with the nuts I find and attempt to live gloriously and independently, using instinct and senses to guide me. Sometimes the perspective will be off, but they are my own even though accessed by the web at large.
I like to believe blind squirrels are the bravest sort of creatures. Thus with this intrepid inspiration I begin...
Your host,
The BlyndSqwrl
I would like think of myself as storyteller of sorts, so a friend of mine recommended that I start a blog. He told me it would force me to write and even if nobody stops to visit, I can make a blog book of my own and fill my shelves with unfinished tales or books that will never be published. So with that in mind, I begin my journey. Since these are the musings of a blind squirrel, I may never stray too far from the tree unless something compels me, I may never know where this blog will take me, but I will be content with the nuts I find and attempt to live gloriously and independently, using instinct and senses to guide me. Sometimes the perspective will be off, but they are my own even though accessed by the web at large.
I like to believe blind squirrels are the bravest sort of creatures. Thus with this intrepid inspiration I begin...
Your host,
The BlyndSqwrl
